Sunday, September 30, 2012

Thoughts

I have been absent from the world of blogging for a couple of weeks now. Our year, 2012, is coming to a fast close which means that November is on our heels. 
November 15, 2003. A date that I wished would never had existed. EVER! 
That date has defined my life or maybe lack of life? Am I thriving or surviving? I can quickly tell you that surviving  is all that I am capable of achieving. At least for now. 

I wonder who Joshua would be. And, I wonder who I would be if we hadn’t lost our son. For that matter what would the dynamics of our family be? I can tell you that what was once a very social family has turned very unsocial family. Not in the mean sense-or maybe I should say not involved in the community kind of family anymore. Too painful. It is easier to stay home and not take the chance of bumping onto Joshua;s friends or their family. We aren’t safe outside our home where we have total control. TOTAL!

Will you pray for our family?  as once again we face the holidays only to be reminded that Joshua isn’t with us. My birthday, Jack’s birthday, November 15th, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year and Joshua’s birthday all stacked up and waiting to be celebrated.

Thanks for listening,
Cindy
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