I don’t feel very grateful — to anyone. Especially God. We lost our 16 year old son, Joshua,in a car accident 7 years ago. You can read about Joshua if you will go to my blog. I feel as though I am like Jacob, wrestling with God through the night, only it has been years for me. I’m trying but it just isn’t there. I need to be back in church. My husband, Jack, goes every Sunday—but not me.