Friday, February 5, 2010

Just a blue day

Hey,
Just wanted to ask for prayers for me today.

Yesterday when I saw the doctor she diagnosed me having as chronic depression with (I think) neurotic tendencies. Not psychotic, neurotic. She explained to me that some of the things I get upset about with loosing Joshua just aren't really logical. She says I have put a lot of guilt on myself, hence the neurotic portion. She promises me she will help me. I have to believe her. Seven years is a long time to carry all the emotions and thoughts tat have been going through this mind. I don't even know who I am anymore, how could I?

We are in the middle of a snow storm that would have made Joshua's day. He loved tubing. Since we live on a farm with 3 ridges he had no trouble finding a hill to slide down.

I know somewhere in the bible God talks about the storehouses of snow. I like to think Joshua gets to see that everyday.

I don't think I'm going to get much cleaning done today. Justin hurt his wrist last night at the ball game so I'm taking him to the doctor this morning. I have got to straighten up. He doesn't like to see me crying.
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