Thursday, February 19, 2009

UltraSound Day

Today my daughter, Jennifer, will go for her 6th ultrasound. Jennifer is due the first of April. She is having a little girl, Riley. Jennifer has had sooo many scares with this pregnancy. It began with , "We can't find all four chambers of her heart". Each ultrasound has cleared the previous issue, but then the tech would find something else wrong. Serious issues. Spine, heart, brain, organs not connected, weight of the baby is in the 7th percentile. Now the only concern is the that Riley is very small. Today's ultrasound will determine today if Jennifer should go on full bed rest. This would enable all of Jennifer's energy to go the baby. We should find out the results today, so no waiting. Thank you, God!

Trying to find joy has been hard. After suffering through losing Joshua we thought all our trials should be over with. God, we have suffered enough. Actually, we struggle every day of our life with feelings of emptiness and some days we have emotions that I can't even begin to explain. Every event we experience is and will be bittersweet.
We are praying that Riley will bring some sort of healing for us. But, the void will never be filled completely.
I do believe with all my heart and soul that Joshua is present with Jesus right now, experiencing wonders that our minds can't comprehend. He is much better off than you and I, but my selfish flesh still wants him back with us.

You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you. Nehemiah 9:6
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